It’s understandable to a large extent that people get jealous sometimes.
When you love somebody, and it does appears the person has no interest in you, and then you find out that such a one is interested in someone else or someone else is interested in that person, you hold so dearly in the inner vestibule of your mine, then jealousy start brooding. As humans, we harbour some kind of torrential emotions that when on the loose can cause deathly havoc. It’s really a sight to behold, when such emotions are on the loose. Imagine catching someone you love with all your heart making love with someone else. Many commits murder at that point, many will still do so, unfortunately.
There is a form of jealousy that inspires this note, which I find inside my innermost heart lurking, which some of us have as well, though we never accept it. Recently, in the office, I was discussing with one of my colleagues, she was sharing with us, and you could see, she was not too happy with one of her friends on Facebook, a male friend. She said “he is always making friends with ladies”. The notification feature on Facebook, which enables you to know when your friends has new friends, keep informing her that her Facebook male friend ……. Has a new friend, when she checks, it’s a lady. The guy in question, this colleague of mine, has never met, yet she is angry sort of. I pointed out to her that she was “jealous”, but she will not accept it. “Why, should I be jealous of someone, I have never met”. Perhaps, she would have added, “someone, am in no relationship, whatsoever, except on Facebook”. Sounds, very true and convincing, but, but, the heart knows better.
There is this passage in one ancient text considered Holy, by adherer’s of the faith, which says “Hypocrites! For you won't let others enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and you won't go in yourselves”2. Imagine that, you are not entering and will not allow does desirous of entering to go in, you are blocking the way. You know why, so that nobody enters. Not funny. Jealous for nothing.
I have caught myself with a kind of jealousy, which I am terming “jealous for nothing”. It’s a form of jealousy that is best understood as envy: to wish that you had someone else's possessions, abilities. Yet it is not envy. Let illustrate, a friend is going out with several ladies, to satisfy his libido. I made no moves, to toast any of the ladies, he never snatches any of them from me, even if I were to have does ladies at my beck and call, my inner programming, will never, never allow me to just cast my emotions that way, as it’s sort of “dirty” and unbecoming of a matured mind to me. Yet, instead of looking the other way round, I just keep looking his way, with a crazy form of jealousy.
In my early thirties, as a matter of fact very single and searching. Sometimes, I just laugh at myself secretly, a kind of a comic. I wish it was not I that am laughing at, at such moments. My early programming in my abandon Christian faith, has an over bearing effect on me, for which I have no regrets whatsoever. Fidelity, no pre-marital sex, are all Christians concept that has a serious hold on me, and has moulded me and my life’s value system and orientation, that is why sometimes when some so-called Christians, who as far my definition of Christianity is concern are not Christians at all try to convinced me to return to faith, the never know how I view their faith, with utter contempt and derision.
Why I sometimes laugh at my folly, imagine, a lady will come my way, in the office, on the street or just round the corner. I will start some mumbo jumbo permutations. “Perhaps she is already in a relationship”. “What will I feel like if someone, toast a lady my heart is craving for”. Mmmh, this one and that one, time is ticking, then suddenly, one guy from the blues, will just come and sweep the girl off, and hei I get jealous, how about. LOL.
I will have love to relate to you real variables, real issues happening round me, but hei I dear not, they people involves will easily figure it out, and though it’s amusing to me, they may not find it comical at all.
I remember, while doing my HND (2005) back in the days, there was this female course mate of mine, she was an enigma of beauty, she was brilliant, and she was very humble. She was my friend, honestly, we could have built a strong relationship, so what did I do about it, I was still doing calculations, until it was late; she got into a relationship and is now married.
In Nigeria for instance, almost everybody criticises people in government for financial mismanagement, yet if any of our own is in government and fails to mismanage, loot or steal funds from the treasury, we will insult such a one as been an idiot who “spurn the God given opportunity for enrichment”. It’s logical to say then, that the bulk of the criticisms is simply because we are not benefitting, so it’s out of jealousy or envy, not national zeal or common interest which we will claim at such moments.
Have you heard someone saying, “that girl”, she is a very bad girl. You must have heard it often, tried to find out why she is bad. “She goes out with too many men”. Meanwhile, the truth of the matter is that, the lady that is narrating the story, is actually been envious, why men always by pass her and go for that her friend, but she will not admit it, feigning, decency as her reasons, but, but deep down inside “she wish “ it was her.
“That boy is very stupid”. Yes, the boy in question might have done something seemingly awkward, but why his senior colleague is overblowing it, is because they boy is going out with an IT student, that the man is interested in, and for which since they are in the same office, he may not be able to go out with, see that.
You could reflect on your own and see some of the areas that you are reacting to, negatively, search deep inside your heart; it may be some form of jealousy that is driving you. “If you love somebody walk up, to him/her and tell them you love them” a musical artist rendered.
For me, even now, am doing some permutations, some mumbo jumbo calculations, and time is ticking away, click , click , click and I may be singing “why, are all these good girls taking every time, why do I keep falling love to someone all the time………………” You know that song.
It’s not funny, but it’s sort of enjoyable, been jealous for nothing, but why?
1 LDOCE Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English 2 Mathew 23:13
© 2011 Jacob Longpring OCFR